Jeannie Keneley

That Divine Door

As I was listening to a sermon via the radio the other day, a scripture that the pastor was sharing caught my attention.  He was reading from Matthew 28 where the angel appeared to Mary and Mary Magdalene after Christ’s resurrection.  I’m going to shorten this passage here to illustrate the words that caught my attention.  “Do not be afraid…He is going before you…”

Yes, I realize that I’ve taken this whole passage completely out of context, but it spoke to me at a moment in my own life that I needed to hear it.  Like many people in America right now, the corporate downsizing seizing many businesses across our country has hit our home.   If you aren’t in the same boat right now, I’ll bet you know someone that is.  At a time where in our humanity we might be panicked and wondering how we’ll make it, we have a peace and assurance that we don’t need to panic at all; He is going before us, and just like He met up with the disciples at the appointed time and place in Galilee that day so long ago, we know that at the appointed time and place for us, the right job is going to be revealed that will provide a new place to serve as well provide for our family.

I’ve thought often through the last few weeks about Christ’s words on the cross, “It is finished”.  As I ponder those words, I find strength in knowing that His words reach far beyond the miracle of finishing our redemption at Calvary.  As a Christ-follower, I live with the assurance that His words apply to all aspects of our lives.  Whatever I am facing today, with God it is already finished.  The longer I live, the more I realize that walking by faith means knowing that whatever the circumstance, living in a place of complete surrender to His leading is the only place to be.  When blinded to the next step in the road, in a state of confusion as to where we’re going, I have often joked that “With God, I’m on a “need-to-know” basis, and apparently right now He doesn’t think I need to know!”  But this I do know.  It is already finished and He is going before us to open that next divinely appointed door that will be ours to walk through.

“For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”.  Jeremiah 29:11

I don’t know how people live without the Lord; I am just so grateful that we don’t have to.

What's Love Got To Do With It?

With the excitement of yesterday’s Presidential Inauguration, there seems to be a spirit of enthusiasm in America to join the ranks to make America and the entire earth a better place.  President Obama keeps stressing to each of us that he cannot do this thing alone; that he needs each of us to make a difference in our world.  So this leads me to ask, “Really, what can I do?”

I would suggest to all of us that this world isn’t going to see long-term positive change based on what we do on a national scale, but rather what each of us does on a heart level.   Until the need for change in this world becomes for each of us, a need for change within our own hearts, we will be doing what we’ve done for so long in America; sitting around waiting for someone else to make the world a better place.  I would have to admit that while I watch the world news every evening, with people aimlessly shooting rockets into pockets of civilization taking and maiming innocent lives, I can tend to tune it out thinking that it has been this way for thousands of years, and it’s going to be this way until the end of time.  But, as long as we stay in that frame of mind, I believe we are completely missing the lesson.

In Matthew 25, Jesus talked about the day that we will all stand before God and give an accounting for our lives.  He said,

“Then the King will say to those on His right, “Enter, you who are blessed by my Father!  Take what’s coming to you in this kingdom.  It’s been ready for you since the world’s foundation.  And here’s why:

I was hungry and you fed me,

I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,

I was homeless and you gave me a room,

I was shivering and you gave me clothes,

I was sick and you stopped to visit,

I was in prison and you came to see me….

I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me – you did it to me”.

Jesus was a grass-roots kind of guy.  He changed the world one person, one need, one issue at a time.   Without the help of technology, in the most primitive of circumstances, he lived and died and rose again with such a humble, simple, loving magnificence that whether you believe in His sovereignty or not, no one can argue that He did indeed change the world for all time. I know He changed me.

So, now I’m getting it.  I’m not going to change the world until I change my inward focus. 

It’s not about me...It’s not even about Obama.

It’s about others…It’s about seeing ourselves as part of a greater collective consciousness… It’s about responsibility and stewardship.  And it’s all grounded in LOVE, for ourselves and each other.

So, today I will open my heart to see the others around me.  I may not be able to change the world on a global scale, but I can hold someone’s door, have someone over for dinner, listen to a friend, pray for my husband, visit at the hospital, call my parents, or just compliment a complete stranger on how nice they look today.  I’ve lived long enough to know that it’s the little things that make the biggest differences.

That’s what love’s got to do with it.  Everything.

“Teacher, which command in God’s Law is the most important?”  Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence’. This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself’: These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them.”  Matthew 22:36-40

 

 

The One-Armed Angel in Overalls

      

As long as I live, I will never forget him.  He was a big man, probably about 6‘5” and would probably weigh in at well over 300 pounds.  His left arm appeared to have been amputated just above his elbow, where he was now sporting a mechanical prosthetic hook. I’m guessing that he was a farmer, because he had obviously put on his best pair of new denim overalls to come to town and take the little woman to Sunday brunch. This big, gruff guy honestly looked somewhat out of his element in this elegant restaurant, with its crystal chandeliers and upholstered high-backed booths.

The kids and I had just come from church and were all dressed up in our Sunday go-to-meetin clothes.  We had just survived one of the most difficult years of our life.  Their dad and I had divorced, we had moved to a new town, the kids were adjusting to new schools, and I was adjusting to being a single mom working 12 hour days to make a living. The time I had with the kids had become very precious to me, and I tried to do special things with them on the weekends, so every once in awhile we would splurge and come to this fine restaurant for Sunday brunch.  I was completely unaware that we were being watched.  My son was only about 8 at the time, and every time he returned back from the buffet table with his latest whipped cream creation, the expression on his face would reveal his obvious delight.  My daughter was about 11, and spent her time filling me in on what she and her best friends were doing at school and generally making fun of her brother’s food choices.   

I hardly noticed the man sitting three tables down before he and his wife stood up to leave.  As they passed our table, he stopped and took the time to smile and look each of us in the eye.  All he said was, “Y’all have a nice day.”  I thanked him.

Later (after a few more waffles and whipped cream) I asked for our check.  The waitress told me it had already been taken care of by the man in the overalls.  I was speechless.  I was so touched by his kindness and generosity, that I couldn’t keep the tears from welling up in my eyes.  I don’t know why he picked up our check.  Perhaps he sensed my loneliness or simply noticed the obvious absence of a husband and father in the picture, but to me, he was an angel.  What he couldn’t have known, was that I couldn’t have felt more alone in the world that morning.  My heart was in a million pieces, and it took every ounce of strength I could muster just to get out of bed every day and keep going.  I had been abandoned by the man I loved, and as a result I had made a personal vow to never need a man for anything again.  I even found it hard to hug my own father (whom I adore) at that time in my life, simply because he was a man.  So, when this man picked up our check, he couldn’t have known the magnitude of what his kindness meant to me. It was as though God was reminding me that even in the depths of my hurt and despair, that He hadn’t left me.  I had been touched by an angel.

This year at Christmas time I am reminded of all the single people out there that feel more alone during the holidays than at any other time of year.  I was just reminded last night by a dear friend that said she hates to go to church on Christmas Eve because everyone is always there with their families.  To someone alone at Christmas, this emptiness can cut like a knife. I remember it feeling like a hole in your soul that never completely goes away. Some single parents are struggling to make a Christmas for their children. Most would give anything just to know someone notices them.  I have to confess that it’s very easy to make our plans with our families, and never give one thought to those that don’t have the love they long for.  I wouldn’t have known how hard it can be to be single unless I had walked that path myself.

So my Christmas wish this year is that God will show me someone that needs to feel loved in a very special way, and then show me what to do about it.  I hope you will join me and reach out to someone alone at Christmas this year, too.  You might share a card or a cup of coffee.  The most important thing is that you share a bit of yourself through a random act of kindness with someone that feels alone at Christmas. Don’t think for a moment that you can’t make a difference.  You may just be the angel they’ll never forget!

“Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”  Hebrews 13:2

I hope you have the Merriest of Christmases!   

 

Dancing In The Rain

I was in a home décor shop a few weeks ago with my sister, when I spotted a plaque that touched me.  The saying went something like this…

“Life Isn’t Just About Getting Through The Storms; It’s About Learning To Dance In The Rain”.

I would have to admit that this little thought stopped me dead in my tracks.  As I looked at my sister, we just smiled and I noticed a tear in her eye.  It’s so true.

A peace washed over me that transcended all of the panic over the world economy and global crisis.  It went so much deeper than any of the issues that I have ever faced in my life or ever will.  It is a peace that everything will be alright because I know that the same God, who loved me enough to come and die so that I could live, is the same God that holds all of our chaos in the palm of His hand.  I imagine Him sitting back and watching us try to get ourselves out of the mess we’ve gotten ourselves into, thinking “Kids… will they ever learn?”  I know this much; As any good parent giving their children wings, He will let us learn our lessons.  

As a Christ-follower I live with a knowing that when I’ve fought all my battles, cried all of my tears, and finally come to the end of my own egocentric existence, I will stand in front of Him, not thinking about any of the problems that I’ve been through, the mistakes that I’ve made or the sins I’ve committed, but in holy adoration and gratitude that I will not be held accountable for them.  Yep, I live knowing that in the end, I will be standing on the winning side, and all of this earthly mire we keep wallowing around in will be gone forever.

Perhaps like you, I have been through more storms in my life than most, some of which I didn’t know if I’d live through.  But it’s because of those storms that I came to a point of complete surrender and put all of my trust in Jesus Christ to direct my life.  When I did that, He reached down and took my hand.  Slowly, I started to hear it…the music…what The Message calls the “unforced rhythms of grace”.   As He gently pulled me back to my feet we started moving together, one step at a time…one, two, three….once, two, three…  Before long, I got caught up in the beat and before I knew it this dance of communion with Him felt like second nature to me.   Today, there isn’t a whole lot that can rob my joy for very long.  The Holy Spirit just reminds me to listen for the music…for the rhythms of His grace…to keep my hand in His…and keep dancing!

I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving this year.

 

We're Going To Disneyland!

We’re going to Disneyland!  Yep, it’s time to head to Disneyland to celebrate – Grandma Jeannie’s turning 50!  I have absolutely no idea how I ever got this old, but since it’s happening, I figure it’s a milestone worth celebrating.  As I watch my youth being laid to rest, I take solace in knowing that according to something I read the other day, at my age it’s perfectly OK to consider Spanx an exercise program!  I have arrived. 

I really don’t mind time marching on, although I would prefer that it stop marching across my face!  You know you’re old when they light the candles on your birthday cake and everyone breaks into a rousing rendition of “The Old Gray Mare She Ain’t What She Used to Be!”   Seriously though, I wouldn’t want to be 18 again for anything… although if God offered me my 18 year old body again I take that in a hot-flash!

I remember when my mother used to say that she felt just as young inside in her 50’s as she did when she was 20.  I thought she was crazy, but now that I’ve reached this same level of decay, I realize that it’s true!  Although the outside may be showing some wear, I think the interior is getting better with time.  There’s an irony in aging.  When you’re young, you think you know everything and you look like you have it all together.   But when you’re old, you look like you’re falling apart, but in truth you’re really starting to get it.  You realize that love IS the answer, money CAN’T buy happiness, and success has far more to do with your character than your net worth.  A life of significance means more to you than looking successful.  At this age, the greatest birthday gift you can receive is to watch your kids and grandkids having fun and savoring the sounds of their laughter.  So, my wonderful husband is taking us to Disneyland to party like its 1958 (yes, that’s the year I was born).  I’m going to find the scariest ride I can, scream the loudest when it drops out from under me, and wave at Mickey Mouse when the parade goes by.   I might even embarrass my kids and dance a little.  Why not? You’re only young once!

 

Summertime and the Livin' is Easy...

Summertime and the livin’ is easy….or is it?

Oh the sweet summer days and evenings filled with sunshine, picnics, water parks, bbq’s, vacations and staycations!  As the screams of delight and laughter of children at play fill the neighborhoods across America, you can almost hear the silent prayer of thanks lifted in unison by mothers from coast to coast for that annual blessing from heaven otherwise known as “back to school”.  As we attend the usual barrage of summer weddings and await the births of babies, we all bear witness once again to the cycle of life that with each new season of birth and death holds the unique power to delight and disappoint, energize and exhaust, gift and grieve us.    Livin’ in America…ain’t it great?

This summer has been different somehow.   Amidst all the usual family filled fun times of summer, there is a different feeling in America this year.  As I talk to people I hear again and again an underlying fear and despair coming through in the conversation.  I have personally never seen America in quite this serious of a predicament in my adult life.  With record numbers of Americans losing homes and jobs, ridiculous oil prices putting the squeeze on all of our wallets, the skyrocketing price of not “living” but rather surviving in this economy is hitting hard.  In talking with a friend the other day we were discussing how easy it is to look at the current state of world and domestic affairs and lose hope.  When we can’t see a way out of the circumstances we find ourselves in, this fear can become a stranglehold on our faith in God and in the future.

If we are honest with ourselves, we have collectively created the mess we are living in right now.  As I watch the atrocities being committed in Darfur and the Congo and contrast that with the way I live, I am appalled to think of the way we waste our freedoms because of our own attitude of entitlement as Americans.  With all that we have been blessed with, I fear that we are selling our birthright to other countries for the sake of having what we want when we want it in the easiest way possible.  Is that what the American dream has become? 

As I talk to other Christ followers, I find it interesting to find that even among Christians, we don’t always want to look introspectively to take responsibility for our own actions that get us into these situations.  Whether on a global scale or a personal one, we find it easier to blame God, asking how could a God of love let this happen?  Even some that try earnestly to follow Him, can’t understand why everything doesn’t work out the way they’ve prayed.  We buy into theories of the law of attraction, we pray and meditate from a self centered core, giving much less importance (if any at all) to God’s laws of love that require responsibility,  accountability, and a heart for the common good that need to work hand in hand to balance things out.  When things don’t work out according to our plans we repeatedly arrive at one question…can I really trust God with my life?

If you’ve ever felt that question welling up within you, I would ask you this.  Can God trust you with your life?  Can God trust us with America and our place in the world?  I would go out on a limb and suggest here that until we do some personal and collective soul searching and take responsibility for our past and future choices, we won’t see the blessing that we so long for.  We choose destructive paths over and over and think just because we regret or even repent of those choices, that maybe we’ll get to skip the consequences that stem from them.  Not usually.  As humans, we don’t learn the deep lessons of life playing on the playground at recess.  We learn them in the classroom, in the day to day struggles of life that ultimately become our greatest teachers.  Although I firmly believe that common sense is not at all common, I would challenge all of us during these tough personal, economic and political times to engage our common sense and start asking the hard questions about ourselves that will lead us into a brighter tomorrow.  This summer can be a turning point for us personally and collectively.  I’ve lived long enough to know that even in summer, the livin’ isn’t really easy for much longer than the length of a well deserved vacation, but I do believe it can be full of purpose, full of hope, and full of the fullness that God promises to us when we open ourselves to receive the lesson.  I guess this is our “back to school”.

This is Driving Me Crazy!

__________ is driving me crazy! Go ahead, fill in the blank. At one time or another we’ve all had something that literally threatened to drive us to the brink of complete desperation. Perhaps it’s a spouse, a job, an employee, a divorce, a child spiraling downward into danger, financial ruin, reoccurring health issues, or legal injustice. Maybe it’s just an incurable loneliness. The list could go on and on. The point is that this is life and we all face disappointments. If you live any time at all, at times you will face what seem to be insurmountable obstacles to overcome.

I had a mother say to me just the other day that her daughter thought God was against her because the circumstances of her life weren’t working out the way she wanted. Through her tears, the mother expressed to me that she was concerned because she didn’t want her daughter to think that God worked that way. I have news for that mother. That’s exactly how God works. It’s those times of extreme disappointment and despair that take us out of our comfort zones and expose the areas within ourselves that need to be dealt with in order for us to grow emotionally and spiritually. You know the old saying that everything happens for a reason? It’s true. The reason those things happen are to teach us something - very often about ourselves.

I don’t believe these times happen just to drive us to despair. However, they do happen in order to drive us somewhere. Where it drives you is up to you. In 2 Corinthians 7:10 the apostle Paul is talking to the church in Corinth about a letter he had written to them that had distressed and upset them greatly. Later, after everything was resolved between them he said… “Distress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets; end up on a deathbed of regrets.” (The Message)

As Paul continues, we see in verse 11 what distress can produce when we embrace the lesson. “You’re more alive, more concerned, more sensitive, more reverent, more human, more passionate, more responsible. Looked at from any angle, you’ve come out of this with purity of heart”. I learned a long time ago that God is far more concerned with our character than He is with our comfort, and let’s face it - it’s in the hard times that our character is truly revealed, both to ourselves and to others. Life is a process of maturity that will never happen as long as we live with an attitude of entitlement, always expecting others (including God) to serve us.

If you’ve read my book, you know I’m a poster-child for letting pain and disappointment drive me to such frustration and despair that there were a couple of times that I almost took my own life. It wasn’t until I finally came to the end of myself and let the pain drive me to a place of peace and surrender in God that the circumstances began changing. I think my life was a lot like repeating the same grade in school over and over. The teacher wouldn’t let me move on until I learned the lessons that were mine to learn. When I did, the same repeated circumstances that always led to the same point of frustration stopped “happening”. You see, these things weren’t just happening to me, I was choosing the same behavior over and over, expecting different results.

That mother I mentioned earlier has a heart that only wants the very best for her daughter, so that mother’s heart bleeds for her. You know what? There’s someone who bled for you too, and wants nothing more than the very best for your life. He wants to lead you into health. He wants you to know peace and joy and fulfillment, but this is a two-sided deal. If you reach out to Him, you will find Him waiting. All the work was already done by Him at Calvary. There’s nothing to earn, no hoops to jump through, no set of regulations to be achieved to find Him, no official church blessing necessary. He’s really that accessible. Just open your heart and ask Him to meet you.

So, I guess the question here is where are the disappointments and circumstances of your life going to drive you….to Him or away from Him? The choice is yours. The results of those choices will also be yours. I hope you choose growth.

My Father's Hands

If I close my eyes and allow myself to return to my childhood for just a moment, I can remember as though it were happening right now, the feeling of comfort and safety that would wash over me when Daddy would reach out and take my little hand in his.  Over the years, whether I was 2, 12, or 20 years old, that feeling of having his hand wrapped around mine was always the same.  In his hand, I felt safe.

 

I believe that’s probably the reason that over the years, holding a man’s hand has always told me something about the man, and meant something deeply personal to me.  There are men out there that will grab your hand and assume you want them to lead you wherever they deem best.  I’ve learned that if you let them, you may very well end up someplace you don’t want to go.  Some men will use your hand to parade you around like a trophy somehow feeding their own sagging self-esteem.  Others will hold onto your hand so much and so tightly that you wonder if they could ever survive if they let go! However, when you find the hand that you slip yours into, and it feels like you’ve finally come home, you’ve found a gift from God.

 

Throughout my adult life and various relationships in my past, I was aware that something always felt wrong to me when I’d hold the hand of my current “love”.  I didn’t think about it a lot, I was just simply aware when it was happening. The first day I met my husband Chuck, I was struck by the fact that his thumbs looked just like my dad’s!  I watched his hands intently as he spoke, as he signed the credit card slip after dinner, and as he drove the car.  But it was later, the first time he reached out to take my hand that I knew this man was someone special.  As I slipped my hand into his, I felt an overwhelming realization wash over me… for the first time in my adult life, I felt the same way I did when I used to put my hand in Daddy’s! 

 

As the years have passed, I have learned that there is a direct correlation between the man I trust with my hand, and the hand that is leading him.  I have made the mistake of trusting the wrong men to join hands and hearts with, and I have endured the gut-wrenching agony of the consequences of those choices.  Because of God bringing me through those experiences into a new life, I can also tell you that there is no more wonderful feeling in the world than to know that your man is strong enough to lead your family simply because he is tuned in enough to humble himself before God and surrender his will and his reason to a power far beyond his own.

 

Today as Father’s Day quickly approaches and I am reminiscing, I am so grateful for the kind of father that taught me with something as seemingly insignificant as taking my hand in his, what love and safety felt like.  I am also grateful for a husband who reminds me again everyday through his tenderness and affection for me, that I am truly loved.  But above all, no matter what life may bring my way, I am eternally grateful for the safety and assurance of knowing that the hand that leads our life and our home is the same one that created everything and holds it all together.

 

Right now in the quiet…if I close my eyes again…I can hear my father’s voice singing…

“Many things about tomorrow

I don’t seem to understand,

But I know Who holds tomorrow

And I know Who holds my hand!”

 

I hope you have a wonderful Father’s Day!

 

Happy Mother's Day!

I was barely 20 years old. The first time I held her in my arms, I felt such a surge of love well up within me.  This tiny little swollen, red-faced bundle of joy jolted this young mother into an entirely new world of sleepless nights, diapers, band-aids, bottles, puppies, bicycle accidents, birthday parties, Halloween costumes, broken hearts, and a lifetime of laughter - and I have never been the same since.   Three years later her little brother came along and started the party all over again! 

Oh the joys of motherhood!  Life has taught me that no matter where you are from, or the circumstances in which you may find yourself, the heart of a mother never stops beating for her child.  The diaper rash and sniffles that kept us up at night in the early days eventually turn into bigger issues such as choices in marriage partners and career paths.  Life is a tapestry of pleasure and pain, and woven through all the laughter and cherished family times, we find ourselves sending our children off to war or out into a world where we know they are about to learn some really hard lessons. Perhaps we just watch from the sidelines as they make choices for their lives…and again, we find it hard to sleep.

As this Mother’s Day approaches, my son-in-law is being deployed to some unknown destination at sea while my daughter and grandkids prepare to be without Daddy soon.  One of our kids survived what could have been a fatal car accident just days ago.  The others work to fulfill their dreams….and the beat goes on. 

Like my parents before me, I remember the day I stood at an altar with each of my babies and dedicated myself to raising them according to the will of God.  I had no idea at that time what lay ahead of me in life.  I didn’t know that I would later face life for years as a single mother.  I didn’t know all the things that would affect my children.  But looking back, I am so grateful to say that through it all, God has been faithful, and today I couldn’t be any prouder of the adults those little babies grew into.

So, this Mother’s Day, I am simply grateful…grateful for the heritage of godly grandmothers and my own mother that molded me. I’m grateful for the privilege of being a mom, with all the joys and sorrows that it brings.  Now when I look into a tiny little, swollen red face looking up at me, it means we have just been blessed with a new grandchild.  So, to all of you that are blessed to be called mothers today, I salute you.  Together, we stand united with our hearts beating for our children, like a thread that holds together the tapestry of our families, our nation, and our world.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Houston, we have lift-off.....

Well, I guess it's official.  I have now entered the blogosphere.  I am excited and humbled all at the same time, as JeannieKeneley.com takes off.  It's been a year of amazing happenings surrounding the publishing of my new book "Beyond My Yesterdays", and launching a brand new ministry of speaking and sharing my story.  The release date for the book is June 10, 2008, so I have much to do to get ready for it!  I am humbled beyond words at the opportunity presented to me to share my journey with others,  encouraging them to keep on keeping on with theirs. 

I never could have gotten this far without the help of a dear friend and computer geek, Tamara Dull, who taught me everything I know (which isn't much) about blogging, all the while doing a fairly good job of hiding her laughter and disbelief at my complete computer illiteracy!  Tamara, the fact that you put up with my ignorance through all of this is a testimony to your sainthood!

My prayer is that this site will inspire, lift up, and spread the love of God to whoever stumbles across it. So, as I officially begin this new chapter in my life, I humbly borrow from the words of a good friend of mine.... "Not my will, but Thine".